Same As It Ever Was Part One

Title: Same As It Ever Was Part I
Author: hannah_chapter
Pairing: Belldom
Rating: 18/NC-17
Summary: AU. Something is wrong in Matt Bellamy's life. In all his lives. He appears to move between worlds, but how? Which world is the real one? Is he just insane? And where does Dom Howard fit into all of this? Title taken from "Once in a Lifetime" by Talking Heads.
Disclaimer: I don't own Muse and this never happened.


And you may find yourself living in a shotgun shack
And you may find yourself in another part of the world
And you may find yourself behind the wheel of a large automobile
And you may find yourself in a beautiful house, with a beautiful wife
And you may ask yourself - Well...How did I get here?

Talking Heads - "Once in a Lifetime"


Matt opens his eyes, not sure where he is at first. He's been having those dreams again. Each one is different but, in some ways, they are all the same. The man in his dreams - who is he? Matt never sees his face but it's always the same man, he knows it, he can feel it. But what does it all mean? Matt rubs the sleep from his eyes and gets out of bed. Maybe he should go see someone about this, a psychiatrist or something.

He puts on his clothes and goes downstairs. Mandy is standing by the sink, finishing her coffee.

"You're up early. I didn't think you'd be up before nine, I would have made you something."

"It's fine, I'll do it myself. You off?"

"In a couple of minutes."

She puts her cup in the sink and grabs her handbag. She kisses his cheek on the way out.

"See you later."

He hears the front door open, then Mandy swearing and the click of her heels as she comes back to the kitchen.

"Something wrong?"

"Howard's parked his car across our drive again. Will you go talk to him, Matt? I can't deal with him, not this early in the morning."

Matt sighs. 8.30 in the morning and the day is already ruined. He should have stayed in bed, not that it would have helped. Mandy would have come up and dragged him out of it. He goes outside and bangs on his neighbour's door. It flies open and Matt comes face to face with a very irate Dom Howard. Dom sneers when he sees Matt.

"Bellamy. What the fuck do you want?"

"I want you to move your car,"

"Do what, now?"

"Are you deaf? Move your fucking car! Mandy needs to go to work."

"She has to go and make the money, since you're too lazy. Don't you think it's a bit much, expecting your girlfriend to support you while you spend all day sitting on your arse?"

"I told you before, I have a job. I teach piano and I work from home. Not that it's any business of yours."

"Oh yeah, that's right. Matthew Bellamy, the great musician, thinks he's better than the rest of us."

"Just move the car, will you?"

Matt turns back to his own house. Still looking over his shoulder at Dom, he walks right into his own bin. The bin falls over and Matt goes down on one knee. Dom starts clapping and

....Matt

.....can

....feel

himself blushing as Dom claps and cheers. He looks down at the piano for a second, pulling himself together.

"Stop it, I wasn't that good."

"Good? You were amazing! You should be in a fancy concert hall with an orchestra. Playing in a dump like this will be a waste of your talent."

"Does that mean I got the job?"

"It's not much of a job, but yeah, if you want it. Tell you what: there's a spare room upstairs, so you can have free bed and board, you help out behind the bar when we're busy, I'll pay extra for that and you keep any tips you get. Sound fair?"

"More that fair." Matt looks around. "Is all this yours?"

"Nah, I just run it. I drifted into town a few years ago, got hired by the owner, now I'm the manager. The big boss man stays at home and counts the money, I'm free to do things my way. Everyone's happy."

Matt looks up at him and Dom falls silent as blue eyes meet grey ones. The tension between them has been building all night, ever since Matt walked in, ordered a beer and asked about a job and Dom agreed to give him an audition after closing time. Now, as they look into each other's eyes, it finally boils over. Matt stands, kicks the piano stool to one side and then they're in each other's arms, mouths fused together, hands sliding under shirts. Matt cries out when Dom's lips leave his and begin to move down his throat. It's hard to form a coherent sentence when the other man is touching him like this, but he does his best.

"I think .... we should .... bedroom..."

Dom stops kissing him. "I have a better idea."

He grabs Matt's hand and leads him over to the pool table. Matt giggles.

"Are you serious?"

"I know it's weird, but I've always wanted to do it on a pool table."

"Kinky."

Dom pushes Matt onto the table and moves between his legs. "You complaining?"

Matt moans as their erections grind together. "Wouldn't dream of it."

They kiss again. And again. Dom pulls away and unbuttons his jeans. Matt follows suit, kicking off his shoes and pulling off his jeans and underwear. Dom, jeans and boxers around his ankles, moves between Matt's legs again. He's got a tube in his hand now.

"Where did that come from?"

"My pocket."

"You always carry lube around with you?"

"No, I got this out of the bathroom cabinet about an hour ago."

"How did you know you'd actually need it?"

"I didn't, I just hoped I would. It's always good to be prepared, don't you think?"

"Definitely."

Dom offers the tube to Matt. "Get yourself ready. I want to watch. I want to see those long fingers sliding inside you."

Matt is happy to oblige, taking the lube and smearing it over his fingers. He puts on a show, spreading his legs and moaning as he prepares himself. Dom likes what he sees, if the way he's stroking himself and licking his lips is any indication. Finally, Matt can take no more. He pulls his fingers out and lies back on the table.

"Please." Voice soaked with desire. "I need you inside me."

Dom graps the lube from the table where Matt dropped it and slicks up his cock. Matt bites his lip as Dom enters him and begins to move.. It's been so long and the other man feels so good inside him. But it's not perfect - not yet. In all the excitement, neither man thought to remove his shirt and that's what Matt wants: he wants to feel skin on skin. He pulls at the bottom of Dom's shirt until he gets the idea. Dom stills inside Matt as he pulls his shirt off in one fluid motion and Matt sits up to do the same. Lying back down on the pool table, Matt puts one hand on Dom's stomach, feeling the muscles there tighten and relax as the other man moves again. He strokes his cock with the other. Matt's back rubs against the felt of the pool table as Dom fucks him, the sensation unlike anything he's felt before. Dom thrusts faster, faster still - then  he cries out, nails digging into Matt's hips as he comes. Matt's almost there, he knows it - but then it all goes wrong. Matt screams as a monstrous bolt of pain rips through his head. The sound scares the shit out of Dom and he

....looks

....down

....at

his patient.

"How are we today, Matthew?"

"Tied to a bed, Doctor, same as yesterday."

Doctor Howard pushes his glasses up on his nose. "Yes, I am sorry about that."

"Then let me out."

"You know I can't."

"Of course you can. Just undo the little buckle here and - "

"It's not that simple Matthew, you know that. You're a danger to yourself and a danger to others. I can't take the risk."

"Oh, come on. I'm as sane as the next man. They put me in here. Are they paying you to keep me locked up?"

"Here we go again. What will it be today? More conspiracy theories? Or are you going to tell me about these other worlds, the other versions of you that your mind jumps into? Not very original, is it? Sounds a bit Quantum Leap to me."

"Don't you laugh at me."

"I'm not laughing at you, Matthew, of that you can be sure."

"Yes you are. But I'm telling the truth. I know it - and so do you."

"Truth? You want truth? Alright. The truth is, you're a very sick man. You've done terrible things, Matthew. Really terrible things. You need to forget about these other worlds and accept this one thing. That's the first step on the road to recovery."

"You are so full of shit, Doctor."

"Well, on that point we'll just have to agree to disagree. But I won't give up on you, Matthew. I know you can be well again, if you're really want it. But, for the time being, the restraints stay on. It's for the best, don't you think?"

The doctor walks away. He's almost at the door when Matt calls his name.

"Dom!"

Dom stops. How does the patient know that? How does he know his first name and that he prefers to be called Dom? Could he be telling the - no! Impossible. One of the orderlies must have told him, simple as that. Dom starts

....to

....say

....something

but Matt can't hear him over the roar of the guns. Things have gone to shit and they're the only two still alive. Dom grabs his arm and points. Matt gets the message. All the other escape routes are blocked. There's only one way to go and they run down the narrow street. They are seen, of course, and they hear shouts as the man chasing them get closer. Dom wheels around and fires blindly. They hear a scream as they pick up the pace.

The sounds behind them begin to fade and they're safe - for now. Taking refuge in a bombed out building, they spend the night in each others' arms, talking. They're too keyed up to sleep but can't quite summon the energy to do anything else. The sun finally rises. Dom stretches and gets up. Leaving his gun on the floor by Matt,  he goes to the window - well, the hole where the window used to be - and looks out.

"I think we're clear, Matt. We were lucky."

"Yes we were. But, then again, we always are."

"What are you getting at?"

"Don't you think it's strange, the way all our operations go to shit?"

"How is that lucky?"

"Well, like I said, every operation fails, we always lose men, someone always gets hurt. But I never do. You never do."

"Is there a point to all this?"

"Oh, there's a point alright. No plan is perfect, I'll give you that much, some are bound to fail. But when they all fail, something starts to smell bad, especially when two people always walk away without a scratch. One of them must be a traitor. I know it's not me - it has to be you."

"You can't be serious."

"Can't I?"

Dom backs away as Matt picks up his gun. "Matt, please, you don't want to do this."

"No, I don't. But I'm going to, just as soon as you confess."

"But I didn't do it!"

"Wrong answer." Matt shoots the floor by Dom's feet and the other man jumps back. "Tell me the truth and I'll make it quick. Lie and I'll blow your fingers and toes off first."

"Okay, okay, it was me! But I never betrayed you! Everything I did, it was all for you, it was the only way to keep you alive. But I had to give them something. Don't you think I would have saved the others if I could?"

Matt takes aim, planning to put the bullet right between his lover's eyes.

"Don't do this. Please. I love you."

"I love you too. This hurts me, more than you know. But I have to do this. A lot of men have died because of you, Dom. Good men, good friends. You have to answer for that."

Matt's finger tightens on the trigger but, before he can fire, the world explodes and he

....falls

....on

....his


side, right beside his bin.

"What the fuck is wrong with you, Bellamy?"

"Wrong?"

"Fucking hell, did your brain leak out when you fell? You've been kneeling like that for at least five minutes. And it's not the first time you've shut down like this."

Matt stares at him, he has no idea what's going on. But, for some reason, he's thinking about his dreams again. Was he just dreaming. Dreaming awake? Dom throws up his hands in disgust and goes back to move his car.

"You're losing it, Bellamy. You need to get help."

As Matt picks up the bin, he thinks the other man might actually be right about something for once.