Bad Blood Part VII

Title: Bad Blood Part VII
Author: hannah_chapter
Pairing: Belldom
Rating: 18/NC-17
Summary: AU. Matt and Dom are vampires with a complicated relationship. "I love him and I hate him, I need him and I need to get away from him." This chapter, Dom's POV.
Feedback: Oh yeah, right there, don't stop......
Disclaimer: This never happened. This isn't real. Nothing is real. The Matrix has you all.
Warning: Violence. Gore.


Well he said he'd show you his bed
And the delights of the chemical smile
So in your broken home he broke all your bones
Now you're taking it time after time

Oh it turns you on, on, now he has gone
Oh what turns you on, on, now your animal's gone?

Suede - "Animal Nitrate"


1960:

The lights are on and I'm sitting on a bed with my back against the wall. That's not right. I always sleep with the lights off, newspaper taped over any windows and my head under the blankets. What did I do last night? Then the bed shifts under me, even though I didn't move and now I remember: I'm not alone. A small man with dark hair and torn clothes is sleeping next to me. I finally did it, I went and made myself a little baby vampire. Now, why did I do such a stupid thing?

I love bullies. I just love taking those overconfident bastards and breaking them right in two. I love the way they waltz over to me, so full of themselves. And I really love the look in their eyes when I show them how it feels to be the helpless one. This one guy, he had the biggest hands I've ever seen and he wore rings with stones in them, just so he could fuck up people's faces when he punched them. I still have one of his rings. A night where I get my hands on a bully or two is a good night for me. The victims? Leave them to die or kill them myself.

But not this one. He was dying, I could smell it. Something inside was broken and he wouldn't have lasted an hour. I could have left him there, but I didn't. Jesus, I'm going soft. What's next, rescuing puppies? Okay, I made him, now what do I do with him? Kill him, says a voice inside my head. He's just been made, he doesn't know anything, it would be easy.

He moves closer and buries his face in my stomach. We fell asleep like this. As I stroke his hair my eyes are drawn to the bathroom door, which is hanging by one hinge. He did that this morning, when he went to clean himself up. It sent him into a panic and he flailed around, screaming at me, wanting to know what I'd done to him. I had to calm him down before he wrecked the room or someone called the cops and that's how we ended up in this position, with me rubbing his back and telling him everything was fine.

Looking at the door, I know two things: I can't kill him and I can't abandon him, the way I was abandoned. Okay, I took to this life and quicker than most - killing never bothered me - but that doesn't mean I couldn't have used a helping hand in those early days. I was turned in 1860, remember, I didn't know what I was and I had so many questions. Why did I need blood? Why did the sun hurt? How did I stay young and heal so fast? But there was no one to ask, no one to give a name to my condition. Shit, I didn't see another vampire until 1925, when I met Chris Wolstenholme and his freak family. What a pain in the ass that man is - an arrogant prick who thinks he deserves respect just because he's gone through a few centuries without doing anything interesting enough to get him killed.

I feel him stirring, I think he might be awake. He is. He's looking up at me with those sweet blue eyes. Matthew, the piano player from the bar. I went to listen to him a few times and he doesn't know this, but I almost had him last week. He was drunk, on his way home, he didn't even see me. I recognised him at the last minute, so I let him go. What can I say, I like music and good musicians have nothing to fear from me. I smile down at him and he smiles back.

"How do you feel?"

"Hungry."

Of course he is, he's just a baby. I bite my wrist, open a cut and offer it to him. He latches on and drinks. I close my eyes and drift away as he feeds, drinking and drinking and -

Too much! He's taking too much!

Just in time I pull my wrist away, fall sideways, then turn onto my back. So weak, can barely move. He licks his lips clean and crawls up my body, kissing my neck and face.

"I love you."

Love? Me? Nobody loves me. I'd laugh, but one look at his face tells me he's serious. And I think I could love him too. Is that why I saved him? Do I finally need someone, after all these years alone? Maybe. But I know I'll fuck it up, because that's just the way I am. He loves me now - but he'll hate me soon.

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Let's get one thing straight: I'm not a good guy. I don't have a hidden heart of gold and I'm not misunderstood. I'm just an asshole. I was a bastard when I was a man and I'm an even bigger bastard now I'm a vampire. I've always been this way. You know those WANTED posters you see in old Westerns? I had one of those. A big one with MURDER printed on it. Bad boy, outlaw. That might sound romantic but trust me, it wasn't. For every outlaw lucky enough to get songs written about them and movies made about them there were two dozen like me. Complete shits, living short and violent lives before dying alone and being dumped in a hole somewhere. That's the way I should have gone, would have gone if a vampire hadn't stepped in. Still don't know why he did it, it's not like he stuck around to explain. I never even saw his face - well, come on, I was drunk and damn near dead. Vampires are always connected to their makers and the ones they make, Chris told me that and it's true. Matt and I can always find each other, all we have to do is concentrate hard enough. But when I look for my maker I get nothing. It's like talking into a dead phone. I don't care, I don't need him. I don't need any other vampire. They could all burn up in the sun tomorrow and I wouldn't care. Okay, that's not the whole truth, I do need one vampire. I'll always need Matt.

Ah, Matt. God help me, I love him but I treat him like shit. Some of what I've done, I guess I could call it tough love. This is a rough life and delicate little flowers don't survive. He had to toughen up and he had to learn to kill. I couldn't carry him forever, he was draining the life out of me and  I had to kill twice as many people when I was feeding him - like a pregnant woman, I was eating for two. I know, I should have handled it better. Asshole, remember.

He might not believe this, but I do love him. I'll never make another vampire. One female vampire, fickle bitch, she makes a new lover every six months or so. Then she gets sick of them, destroys them and makes another one. I feel sorry for the poor saps: so much for the immortality she promises them. But Matt's the only one for me. He brings out the best in me, too bad it never lasts. I'm soon back to my usual shitty behaviour. But Matt's a tough little fucker, in his own way. He has to be, to put up with me. Fifty years together and I haven't broken him - but I've come close:

1985:

Hmm. Last time I was in a jail cell, I still wore spurs on my boots. They're cleaner than they used to be, they don't smell of cow shit anymore. I lie on my back with my hands behind my head. The guy in the next cell is a real pain, he won't shut up. On and on he goes, about all the people he's fucked up and all the ways he'll fuck me up if he gets his hands on me.

"Hey, hey you. Know what'll happen if I lay a hand on you? Huh? Know what'll happen?"

"I'll get a hard on, that's what'll happen."

He spits through the bars. "Faggot."

I wipe my cheek and ignore him. I check my watch again. It's getting late, where the fuck is he? Then someone upstairs starts to scream. The guy in the other cell jumps off his bunk. "What was that?"

"Sounds like my lawyer just got here. I think I just made bail."

A gunshot, the sound of glass breaking and another scream. He stares at the ceiling with wide eyes. "That's a lawyer? Sounds like an animal got loose."

"He always gets pissed off when he has to do paperwork."

Alright, enough fucking around. Time to get out of here. I hop off my bunk and tear the cell door off with one hand. The guy in the next cell sees this and he flattens himself against the wall, as far away from me as he can get. I wink at him.

"Hey, guess what? Tonight's your lucky night."

I rip his door off and stand back. He runs out of the cell, doesn't look back. So much for fucking me up. I follow him up and he's just standing there, blocking up the doorway. He turns away, trying to go back down to the cells. I grab him by the neck and drag him back into the room. He's crying now, looking at all the bodies on the floor.

"Please, what do you want from me?"

"Just another couple of minutes of your time, about the same duration as the rest of your life."

I turn my attention back to Matt as he tears the place apart. I feel a throb of pride. My little boy's growing up. Just one deputy left and, somehow, the man's kept his cool. Holding his gun in both hands, he fires at Matt and the bullet hits home, tearing away half of his face. Matt falls and the deputy lowers the gun. Big mistake: Matt jumps up, grabs the man's wrist and pulls the arm right off. It's too much for my new friend. He pukes all over his own shoes. Just look at that! Disgusting. I shake him.

"Look at you, you're fucking pathetic. I don't get much pleasure from killing guys like you." I snap his neck. "But I get enough."

I drop him and kick my way through the mess. My foot hits something: a pair of mirrored sunglasses. I put them on and check my reflection in a piece of broken glass. Oh yes, these are definitely me. Matt punches me in the back of the head and they fly off. I turn.

"That hurt."

He spits in my face. Why is everyone spitting at me tonight?

"What was that for?"

His eyes narrow. "What do you think? Look at all this!"

"It's your mess. I didn't do this."

"No? You let them arrest you and then you just sat here."

"You didn't have to come for me."

"But you knew I would. You knew I couldn't leave you here. Why did you make me do this?"

"To see if you could." I look around. "And you did so well. I'm so proud of you."

I stroke his cheek and he slaps my hand away. "Get away from me."

Matt turns his back on me. I put my hand on his shoulder. "C'mon Matt, don't be like this."

He spins around and grabs me. "Don't touch me. Don't you ever touch me again. It's over. We're through."

He twists my head right around so I'm looking at my own ass and then he throws me through the last unbroken window. By the time I've snapped my neck back into place and pulled all the glass out of my face, he's gone. I think I might have really fucked up this time. Never mind, he'll come back, he always does. Okay, time to clean up. This place has to burn.

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I stretch my legs. It's been a good night. I love places like this, these tourist towns. This town is full of bars, the bars are full of people and the people are full of alcohol. Food everywhere I look, giggling and falling over. Someone knocks on the door. It's about fucking time. Eight months away, that's a new record. I open the door and Matt falls into my arms. I bring him inside, kick the door closed and carry him to the bed. I've never seen him looking so bad. His clothes are torn and muddy and he's shaking. My fault, all my fault. Why am I such a prick?

"Matt, look at me." His eyes roll toward me. "Oh, Matt, when did you last feed?"

His voice is dull and lifeless. "Don't remember. Please, Dom, I need...."

I pull him to me and offer him my throat. "Take what you need."

He tears into my throat and starts to feed. I let him do it, even when I feel myself getting weak I don't stop him. Let him drain me dry, I don't care. He can have it. He can have it all. But then he stops. We lie together for awhile. When I'm sure my legs will support me I take him into the bathroom and clean him up. Then I bring him back to bed and make love to him, taking it slow, trying to show him I'm sorry, trying to show him how much I love him. When it's over he lies with his back to me. I stroke the back of his neck.

"You know I love you more than the world."

"Then why do you do these things to me?" He turns to face me. "Why can't you leave me alone, Dom? Why can't you just love me and leave me alone?"

"I don't know."

I don't know.