Shadows Part III
Aug. 22nd, 2010 06:58 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
hannah_chapter1Title: Shadows Part III
Author: hannah_chapter
Pairing: Belldom
Rating: PG-13
Summary: AU. Sequel to Temptation. Dom's POV. Ten years have passed and Dom and Matt have made a life together. But when his past comes back to haunt him, how far will Dom go to keep Matt safe?
Feedback: Always welcome.
Disclaimer: Oh so very, very fake.
There was a time in my life when I wanted noise and crowds and excitement. But those days are long gone and now I'm happy to sit here on the front step and watch people come and go, occasionally raising a hand in greeting. I really have turned into such a boring old fart. I've been dragging crates of liquor around all morning but Matt's having one of his really good weeks with almost no pain in his leg, so I've left him and Billy to it while I take a break and enjoy the fresh air. We don't do much business during the day, just enough to stop us dying of boredom. Most of the men in town spend all day down in the mines, doing ... whatever it is they do in mines, I've never been too sure. Nights are our busy time and weekends are just insane. Matt and I never get together on Friday and Saturday nights. I barely have the energy to drag my ass into one bed, let alone two.
A man lurches into view and the street suddenly empties. Here we go again: it can only be Hardy, on his way to see Matt. Hardy is Matt's only close friend. He has a farm outside town, where he raises pigs and chickens. Most people just dismiss him as crazy and they stay away from him if they can, but things aren't that simple. He's another war veteran and whatever he went through was so terrible, Matt won't even tell me about it. I've never pushed him on that; if it's so bad that it even disturbs Matt, I don't think I want to know. People say that, before Hardy went to war, he was one of the nicest guys around. Now, whenever he comes to town, he screams abuse at anyone unlucky enough to catch his eye, an endless stream of insults, sexual suggestions and paranoid chants. Everyone's an asshole, or out to get him, or doing something disgusting in the bedroom, or all three.
Matt's the only one who understands him and is willing to spend time with him, but even he doesn't escape the abuse, with Hardy calling him "cripple" and "scarface" and referring to the two of us as "the queers who run the bar." He also refers to the sweet old lady who teaches Sunday school, a woman who's probably never had an impure thought in her life as "the Whore of Babylon" and "a champion cocksucker" so we don't take much notice. We either ignore him or play along and today is no exception. He starts in on me before he even gets close.
"Hiya Blondie, you look tired. Been fucking each other in the ass all night again?"
No, not last night, but I go along with it. "At least we don't screw farmyard animals. And what have I told you about spying on us? If you want to watch then you have to pay."
He snorts at that and goes inside. There goes all our business: the second he goes in, the five customers inside come out, followed by Billy. I can hear Hardy shouting at Matt as Billy joins me on the step. Billy's worked for us for about six years. If things had gone the way they should, he'd be down in the mines right now, working alongside his father and uncles, but he's got weak lungs. He can't handle the air down there, so we took him on. We've never regretted it, he's a good worker, only going home sick when he really needs to. I think today might be one of those times; I can hear his breath rattling in his chest as he sits beside me.
"Why don't you go home Billy, have a rest, come back tonight if you feel up to it."
He wants to take me up on it, that much is obvious, but he makes a token protest. "Are you sure, Mr. Howard? I could stay if you need me to."
"No need. There isn't enough work for three people today. Hell, there isn't enough for one, especially now."
Billy turns his head and looks inside. We can both hear Hardy, still ranting away, and the soft murmur of Matt's voice. It's enough for Billy.
"Thanks, Mr. Howard." I wish I could get him to call me Dom, or even Dominic, but he just won't do it. Even after all this time, Matt and I are still Mr. Howard and Mr. Bellamy to him.
I could go back inside but there's really no point, so I stay where I am. It takes about almost two hours for Hardy to get bored and go in search of someone else to annoy. His foot collides with the small of my back as he comes out and, when he's halfway up the street, he turns and shouts something at me. I don't catch all of it, something about my mother, a whorehouse in New Orleans and the best blowjob he ever had.
Yeah, yeah, whatever. Now he's gone, we might get some business. As I'm brushing dirt from the back of my pants I hear someone calling me. The man approaching me isn't a local, but there is something familiar about him. Then I recognise him: Eddie Considine, a face from the old days, and I mean the really old days, when I was still with my father. There were only a couple of guys Dad would consider friends and this is one of them. We teamed up with him a few times and he's probably the closest thing I've got to an uncle.
I don't know what he wants or how he even found me, but I have a bad feeling about this. He claps me on the back as he draws level with me. "Dominic Howard! I don't believe it! My piece of shit car dies on me, I walk in here, looking for someone to take a look at it or give me a ride to the railway station and I find you here. What are the odds?"
Pretty low I'd say, but maybe this is all just a coincidence. Maybe. He looks me up and down and grins. "Look at you, all grown up. You were just a kid the last time I saw you. What were you then, sixteen, seventeen, something like that?"
"I think I was sixteen, I don't exactly remember." And I dont care. Please, just go away, get out of my life, leave me in peace. But I'm fooling myself if I think that's going to happen. I'm going to have to explain myself, so I invite him into the bar and make the introductions, referring to Matt as my business partner, explaining how we run this place together.
Matt clearly isn't sure how to act around Eddie, so he plays it safe, going for aggression. "What he means is, I run this place while he drinks and gambles and chases women." I shoot Matt a dirty look as I go to get Eddie a drink.
"Ignore him. He never gets laid, so he thinks nobody else should be allowed to. Everyone should be miserable, just like him. Seriously Matt, why don't you lighten up a bit? Try smiling once in a while. Give your face a party." Matt curses me out before storming into the back. I join Eddie at one of the tables and he leans back in his chair, pretending to admire the bar. He doesn't fool me though, not for a second. He's looking for stuff to steal, it's second nature to him, just like it is to me. Even now, after so many years on the straight and narrow, I spend the first couple of minutes in a new place checking it out, looking for small things I can slip into my pocket without anyone noticing.
I know what he's doing and he knows I know, so I get right to the point. "Please don't steal anything while you're here, Eddie. I know it's hard, but try and control yourself."
He looks hurt. "I'd never steal from you, Dominic. Come on, you're practically family."
"Yeah, and I know my own kind, so just behave. But since we're talking about family, have you seen my Dad lately, or heard from him?"
Eddie frowns. "You don't know?"
I shake my head.
"I hate to have to be the one to tell you this, Dominic, but your father died three years ago."
I'm not sure what to say. I haven't seen the man in so long and there was always a chance that he'd died somewhere long the line, but I never knew for sure. I grab Eddie's glass and take a drink myself, I think I need it.
"How did it happen?"
"He got himself stabbed in a bar brawl, fighting over a girl. You know what he was like, he'd flip over anything pretty in a skirt." Eddie winks at me. "From the sound of things, I guess you're the same way. He'd be proud."
Yeah, well, I've put a lot of time and effort into making people think that. In some ways, having Dad as an example made it easier. All I've ever had to do is act like him. If you can fake the attitude you're halfway there. Eddie finishes his drink.
"It's great to see you, Dominic, it really is, but I can't stick around. I've got to get to New York." Oh, thank God.
"Is there anybody around here who'd drive me to the station?"
"I'll take you myself, just let me tell Matt where I'm going." I go behind the bar and call to Matt, telling him I'm going out. He says something in reply but I don't really hear it. It would be easier to go back there and talk to him, but I'm not turning my back on Eddie. If I leave this room he'll be ass-deep in the cash register.
"So what's the scam?" We're sitting on a bench, waiting for the train. He spent the whole journey talking about the good old days, so I knew this was coming.
"There is no scam, I've just given up the life. I'm working for a living now and that's all there is to it."
"I don't believe you. Will Howard's son does not waste his life running a shitty little bar in a shitty little town."
I tense up and he apologizes. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to insult your business. It's a very nice little bar. A nice little bar in a shitty little town." He puts a hand on my shoulder and leans in. "Come to New York with me, Dominic. We'll pull some jobs, have some fun, leave all this boring shit behind. Come on, you know you want to. You know you'll always be crooked. It's in your blood, there's nothing else for you. This little act of yours is all well and good, but you'll never change, not deep down inside, not where it really counts. I know you, I know you better than you know yourself."
I peel his hand off my shoulder. "You know nothing about me." But, as I turn my back on him and walk back to the car, I find myself thinking about what he said. What if he's right?
"Do you know where he's buried? You could go visit the grave. I'd go with you." I love this man so much. It's just over a week since Eddie rolled in and dropped his bomb and I still haven't recovered. I've been edgy and distant with Matt while I try and sort out all the shit in my head, but he hasn't complained. This is something he could never understand, but he's trying so hard and I love him for it. Let's face it, if Matt heard his father had died he'd go and piss on the grave and, knowing what I know about the man, I'd be right there with Matt. Ignorant prick of a man who turned his back on his son just when he needed him the most, and all for no good reason. Matt jumped at the chance to go to war and that went against the Puritanical old shit's moral code or something, but here's the thing: Matt was young and he was healthy and he would have been drafted anyway.
I pull my mind back to the present. We're in the kitchen behind the bar, so holding his hand or anything like that is completely out, so I just answer the question. "No, and even if I did, I don't think I'd want to go. I want to remember him the way he was, not as a name on a stone." I stop for a minute, trying to find a way to put what I'm feeling into words. "I'll be alright, really, I will. But hearing this after so many years, having Eddie turn up, reminding me of the old days, it's just a lot to take in, you know?" Matt smiles in understanding and I finally spit it out, the thing that's really been eating me up. "Eddie said I'd never really change, that I'll always be a crook and, sooner or later, I'll fall back on old habits. But I've tried so hard to be better, Matt. I don't want to go back to the way I was."
Matt speaks softly, but his voice crackles with emotion and his eyes never leave mine. "He doesn't run your life, you live it whatever way you want to. Who the hell does this guy think he is? He just shows up one day, takes one quick look around and he thinks he knows you? Fuck him." He falls silent and I think we're done, but then he continues. "I always knew what you were, Dom, and I never cared. We made some stupid mistakes and I wish we'd done some things differently, but I don't regret a single second of the time we've spent together. And if you'd stuck to your old ways, even after everything that happened, I wouldn't have left you. But you have changed, Dom, you've changed so much and I am so proud of you. I know it wasn't easy."
His voice becomes even softer. "You might find this hard to believe, Dom, but you were never that bad, even in the beginning. If you were, you would have just used me and thrown me away when you got bored. You could have taken the money and left me to die."
The very idea drives me crazy and I slam my fist down on the table. "I would never do that to you!"
Matt laughs, delighted with my reaction. "See? Not so bad." He gets up and goes out to the front of the bar, giving my shoulder a friendly squeeze on the way, the closest he can come to a gesture of affection while we're down here. For the first time in days, I feel like myself. He always knows how to make it right.
Two nights later I'm lying with my head on Matt's chest, listening to his heartbeat slow as he falls asleep. I'm almost asleep myself when the bedroom door crashes open, the main light comes on and Eddie's voice fills the room. "Look at you two! Don't you just look so sweet together." Shit. Naked and wrapped around each other, there's no way we can talk our way out of this. What the fuck are we going to do?
Author: hannah_chapter
Pairing: Belldom
Rating: PG-13
Summary: AU. Sequel to Temptation. Dom's POV. Ten years have passed and Dom and Matt have made a life together. But when his past comes back to haunt him, how far will Dom go to keep Matt safe?
Feedback: Always welcome.
Disclaimer: Oh so very, very fake.
There was a time in my life when I wanted noise and crowds and excitement. But those days are long gone and now I'm happy to sit here on the front step and watch people come and go, occasionally raising a hand in greeting. I really have turned into such a boring old fart. I've been dragging crates of liquor around all morning but Matt's having one of his really good weeks with almost no pain in his leg, so I've left him and Billy to it while I take a break and enjoy the fresh air. We don't do much business during the day, just enough to stop us dying of boredom. Most of the men in town spend all day down in the mines, doing ... whatever it is they do in mines, I've never been too sure. Nights are our busy time and weekends are just insane. Matt and I never get together on Friday and Saturday nights. I barely have the energy to drag my ass into one bed, let alone two.
A man lurches into view and the street suddenly empties. Here we go again: it can only be Hardy, on his way to see Matt. Hardy is Matt's only close friend. He has a farm outside town, where he raises pigs and chickens. Most people just dismiss him as crazy and they stay away from him if they can, but things aren't that simple. He's another war veteran and whatever he went through was so terrible, Matt won't even tell me about it. I've never pushed him on that; if it's so bad that it even disturbs Matt, I don't think I want to know. People say that, before Hardy went to war, he was one of the nicest guys around. Now, whenever he comes to town, he screams abuse at anyone unlucky enough to catch his eye, an endless stream of insults, sexual suggestions and paranoid chants. Everyone's an asshole, or out to get him, or doing something disgusting in the bedroom, or all three.
Matt's the only one who understands him and is willing to spend time with him, but even he doesn't escape the abuse, with Hardy calling him "cripple" and "scarface" and referring to the two of us as "the queers who run the bar." He also refers to the sweet old lady who teaches Sunday school, a woman who's probably never had an impure thought in her life as "the Whore of Babylon" and "a champion cocksucker" so we don't take much notice. We either ignore him or play along and today is no exception. He starts in on me before he even gets close.
"Hiya Blondie, you look tired. Been fucking each other in the ass all night again?"
No, not last night, but I go along with it. "At least we don't screw farmyard animals. And what have I told you about spying on us? If you want to watch then you have to pay."
He snorts at that and goes inside. There goes all our business: the second he goes in, the five customers inside come out, followed by Billy. I can hear Hardy shouting at Matt as Billy joins me on the step. Billy's worked for us for about six years. If things had gone the way they should, he'd be down in the mines right now, working alongside his father and uncles, but he's got weak lungs. He can't handle the air down there, so we took him on. We've never regretted it, he's a good worker, only going home sick when he really needs to. I think today might be one of those times; I can hear his breath rattling in his chest as he sits beside me.
"Why don't you go home Billy, have a rest, come back tonight if you feel up to it."
He wants to take me up on it, that much is obvious, but he makes a token protest. "Are you sure, Mr. Howard? I could stay if you need me to."
"No need. There isn't enough work for three people today. Hell, there isn't enough for one, especially now."
Billy turns his head and looks inside. We can both hear Hardy, still ranting away, and the soft murmur of Matt's voice. It's enough for Billy.
"Thanks, Mr. Howard." I wish I could get him to call me Dom, or even Dominic, but he just won't do it. Even after all this time, Matt and I are still Mr. Howard and Mr. Bellamy to him.
I could go back inside but there's really no point, so I stay where I am. It takes about almost two hours for Hardy to get bored and go in search of someone else to annoy. His foot collides with the small of my back as he comes out and, when he's halfway up the street, he turns and shouts something at me. I don't catch all of it, something about my mother, a whorehouse in New Orleans and the best blowjob he ever had.
Yeah, yeah, whatever. Now he's gone, we might get some business. As I'm brushing dirt from the back of my pants I hear someone calling me. The man approaching me isn't a local, but there is something familiar about him. Then I recognise him: Eddie Considine, a face from the old days, and I mean the really old days, when I was still with my father. There were only a couple of guys Dad would consider friends and this is one of them. We teamed up with him a few times and he's probably the closest thing I've got to an uncle.
I don't know what he wants or how he even found me, but I have a bad feeling about this. He claps me on the back as he draws level with me. "Dominic Howard! I don't believe it! My piece of shit car dies on me, I walk in here, looking for someone to take a look at it or give me a ride to the railway station and I find you here. What are the odds?"
Pretty low I'd say, but maybe this is all just a coincidence. Maybe. He looks me up and down and grins. "Look at you, all grown up. You were just a kid the last time I saw you. What were you then, sixteen, seventeen, something like that?"
"I think I was sixteen, I don't exactly remember." And I dont care. Please, just go away, get out of my life, leave me in peace. But I'm fooling myself if I think that's going to happen. I'm going to have to explain myself, so I invite him into the bar and make the introductions, referring to Matt as my business partner, explaining how we run this place together.
Matt clearly isn't sure how to act around Eddie, so he plays it safe, going for aggression. "What he means is, I run this place while he drinks and gambles and chases women." I shoot Matt a dirty look as I go to get Eddie a drink.
"Ignore him. He never gets laid, so he thinks nobody else should be allowed to. Everyone should be miserable, just like him. Seriously Matt, why don't you lighten up a bit? Try smiling once in a while. Give your face a party." Matt curses me out before storming into the back. I join Eddie at one of the tables and he leans back in his chair, pretending to admire the bar. He doesn't fool me though, not for a second. He's looking for stuff to steal, it's second nature to him, just like it is to me. Even now, after so many years on the straight and narrow, I spend the first couple of minutes in a new place checking it out, looking for small things I can slip into my pocket without anyone noticing.
I know what he's doing and he knows I know, so I get right to the point. "Please don't steal anything while you're here, Eddie. I know it's hard, but try and control yourself."
He looks hurt. "I'd never steal from you, Dominic. Come on, you're practically family."
"Yeah, and I know my own kind, so just behave. But since we're talking about family, have you seen my Dad lately, or heard from him?"
Eddie frowns. "You don't know?"
I shake my head.
"I hate to have to be the one to tell you this, Dominic, but your father died three years ago."
I'm not sure what to say. I haven't seen the man in so long and there was always a chance that he'd died somewhere long the line, but I never knew for sure. I grab Eddie's glass and take a drink myself, I think I need it.
"How did it happen?"
"He got himself stabbed in a bar brawl, fighting over a girl. You know what he was like, he'd flip over anything pretty in a skirt." Eddie winks at me. "From the sound of things, I guess you're the same way. He'd be proud."
Yeah, well, I've put a lot of time and effort into making people think that. In some ways, having Dad as an example made it easier. All I've ever had to do is act like him. If you can fake the attitude you're halfway there. Eddie finishes his drink.
"It's great to see you, Dominic, it really is, but I can't stick around. I've got to get to New York." Oh, thank God.
"Is there anybody around here who'd drive me to the station?"
"I'll take you myself, just let me tell Matt where I'm going." I go behind the bar and call to Matt, telling him I'm going out. He says something in reply but I don't really hear it. It would be easier to go back there and talk to him, but I'm not turning my back on Eddie. If I leave this room he'll be ass-deep in the cash register.
"So what's the scam?" We're sitting on a bench, waiting for the train. He spent the whole journey talking about the good old days, so I knew this was coming.
"There is no scam, I've just given up the life. I'm working for a living now and that's all there is to it."
"I don't believe you. Will Howard's son does not waste his life running a shitty little bar in a shitty little town."
I tense up and he apologizes. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to insult your business. It's a very nice little bar. A nice little bar in a shitty little town." He puts a hand on my shoulder and leans in. "Come to New York with me, Dominic. We'll pull some jobs, have some fun, leave all this boring shit behind. Come on, you know you want to. You know you'll always be crooked. It's in your blood, there's nothing else for you. This little act of yours is all well and good, but you'll never change, not deep down inside, not where it really counts. I know you, I know you better than you know yourself."
I peel his hand off my shoulder. "You know nothing about me." But, as I turn my back on him and walk back to the car, I find myself thinking about what he said. What if he's right?
"Do you know where he's buried? You could go visit the grave. I'd go with you." I love this man so much. It's just over a week since Eddie rolled in and dropped his bomb and I still haven't recovered. I've been edgy and distant with Matt while I try and sort out all the shit in my head, but he hasn't complained. This is something he could never understand, but he's trying so hard and I love him for it. Let's face it, if Matt heard his father had died he'd go and piss on the grave and, knowing what I know about the man, I'd be right there with Matt. Ignorant prick of a man who turned his back on his son just when he needed him the most, and all for no good reason. Matt jumped at the chance to go to war and that went against the Puritanical old shit's moral code or something, but here's the thing: Matt was young and he was healthy and he would have been drafted anyway.
I pull my mind back to the present. We're in the kitchen behind the bar, so holding his hand or anything like that is completely out, so I just answer the question. "No, and even if I did, I don't think I'd want to go. I want to remember him the way he was, not as a name on a stone." I stop for a minute, trying to find a way to put what I'm feeling into words. "I'll be alright, really, I will. But hearing this after so many years, having Eddie turn up, reminding me of the old days, it's just a lot to take in, you know?" Matt smiles in understanding and I finally spit it out, the thing that's really been eating me up. "Eddie said I'd never really change, that I'll always be a crook and, sooner or later, I'll fall back on old habits. But I've tried so hard to be better, Matt. I don't want to go back to the way I was."
Matt speaks softly, but his voice crackles with emotion and his eyes never leave mine. "He doesn't run your life, you live it whatever way you want to. Who the hell does this guy think he is? He just shows up one day, takes one quick look around and he thinks he knows you? Fuck him." He falls silent and I think we're done, but then he continues. "I always knew what you were, Dom, and I never cared. We made some stupid mistakes and I wish we'd done some things differently, but I don't regret a single second of the time we've spent together. And if you'd stuck to your old ways, even after everything that happened, I wouldn't have left you. But you have changed, Dom, you've changed so much and I am so proud of you. I know it wasn't easy."
His voice becomes even softer. "You might find this hard to believe, Dom, but you were never that bad, even in the beginning. If you were, you would have just used me and thrown me away when you got bored. You could have taken the money and left me to die."
The very idea drives me crazy and I slam my fist down on the table. "I would never do that to you!"
Matt laughs, delighted with my reaction. "See? Not so bad." He gets up and goes out to the front of the bar, giving my shoulder a friendly squeeze on the way, the closest he can come to a gesture of affection while we're down here. For the first time in days, I feel like myself. He always knows how to make it right.
Two nights later I'm lying with my head on Matt's chest, listening to his heartbeat slow as he falls asleep. I'm almost asleep myself when the bedroom door crashes open, the main light comes on and Eddie's voice fills the room. "Look at you two! Don't you just look so sweet together." Shit. Naked and wrapped around each other, there's no way we can talk our way out of this. What the fuck are we going to do?
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2010-08-22 06:40 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-08-23 08:30 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-08-22 08:12 pm (UTC)A fantastic chapter once again. BUT I DEMAND MORE.
*angst*
no subject
Date: 2010-08-23 08:32 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-08-22 09:26 pm (UTC)I love the way you narrate this fic and the way it flows, it makes it so easy to fall in to this world you've created.
Can't wait for more! ;)
no subject
Date: 2010-08-23 08:38 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-08-22 10:00 pm (UTC)Great chapter!
no subject
Date: 2010-08-23 08:39 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-08-23 07:05 am (UTC)I knew Eddie would be trouble!
I loved Matt n Dom's conversation! So simple yet very touching!
But now this thing with Eddie!!
Update soon!!!
no subject
Date: 2010-08-23 08:43 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-08-23 12:26 pm (UTC)Yeah you're right. This was the longest conversation they had. But even though they fell in love quickly, it is very real!
no subject
Date: 2010-08-23 01:36 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-08-23 02:16 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-08-23 03:16 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-08-23 12:57 pm (UTC)Oh, here comes trouble...
"Shit. Naked and wrapped around each other, there's no way we can talk our way out of this"
I think excatly the same
Can't wait to read more :)
no subject
Date: 2010-08-23 01:37 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-08-26 07:45 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-08-26 05:16 pm (UTC)Gripping chapter as always, and secretly, I love the action
but I love the smut more ;)But please, no more losing of limbs? That made me cry last time :(
no subject
Date: 2010-08-26 05:50 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-02-06 07:41 pm (UTC)i'm gonna go louiville slugger on eddie's kneecaps for bursting their happy bubble of love :@
no subject
Date: 2011-02-06 10:41 pm (UTC)